Known Element Enterprises Corporate Blog

Attracted by a flashy, hip marketing and packaging, customers flocked to the Mac store. Once entering the “Mac World”, customers found their experience, while aesthetically pleasing, was glitchy and bugged. Soon the customers realised that their Mac Experience was an exclusive experience, with no options outside the Mac World. While they could still see the outside world, they were not allowed to interact with it. The feeling of being trapped set in. Once serious problems began to develop, Mac was unable to solve the problems it had created and was force to call in a third party to undo to mess.

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I love it!

I haven’t written for a while. Been rather busy at work and around the house. I am sitting here planning my weekend, and thought I would share it with my readers.

First things first. I have been neglecting sysadmin tasks on my network for a while. Today I plan to tackle the following tasks:

Wireless security:

My access point has been somewhat locked down, but not very well. I had SSID broadcast turned off, and changed the admin password but that was about it. I have done the following to remedy the situation:

1. Turned off HTTP access to the router and only allowed HTTPS access. This will keep anyone from sniffing the sessions to the router.
2. Turned off the DHCP server and setup static addresses on the systems that need access (my laptop,wifes pc, our printer/fax/copier/scanner).
   I changed the sub net from the default. That way, if an attacker gets in, it will take a good amount of time to figure out what IP addresses to launch an attack against.
3. I am looking at WPA and Mac filtering. Unfortunately, attempting to use either results in loss of access to the router.

Host Security:
I am running Linux on the 2 systems here. Debian testing on my laptop, and Debian unstable on Patti’s desktop. She wanted unstable in order to be able to run the latest and greatest version of GRAMPS and various other software. Unstable is a bit to cutting edge for me though. Especially because I do quite a bit of testing/development etc and can’t suffer the occasional breakage that comes from running unstable.
I will be putting a firewall on both systems. On mine I will:

1. Allow incoming SSH from anywhere. However a key will be required and I will disable password authentication.
2. Allow any local connections (because of all the testing of various software I do).
3. Block everything else (including pings).

On my wifes system I will:

1. Allow incoming SSH from anywhere. I will allow password based authentication to this system. I will disallow direct root login.
2. Block everything else (including pings).

Backups/media center:
I have purchased a Network Attached Storage System (essentially a shoebox/hard drive/network port). I am going to use it for backups and for media storage. We both have several years of data (pictures/e-mail/documents). The backups will be done on a nightly basis, using the same script that I use at work. Incremental on a nightly basis and a full backup Saturday and Sunday of each week. I will probably purchase a second system so that one can be off site at any time.
As for media items, Patti and I have quite a collection of DVD’s/VHS and audio CD’s. The NAS device will serve as storage for them. I will install media center software on Patti’s PC to serve up the media.

I think that about covers the administrative tasks. Tomorrow and Monday, me and Patti will be out of town on a mini vacation. It should be fun. I will write all about it, after we return….

PHP
PHP stands for Awesome HTML Generation Engine, but no one knows why. Some have suggested that the name is a recursive expansion like “GNU” (Got No Underwear).

PHP is in wide use across a variety of super-secret government agencies, telcos, banks, and other large businesses due to its unparalleled security and scalability. It is currently p0wned by Sun Microsoftware, much to the chagrin of Marc Andressen, a major shareholder in the Java: The Artificial Beverage for Artificial Intelligences product.

Fatal error: Call to undefined programming code PHP in /home/php/www/hypertext/index.php on line 3
A usual message PHP runs with, don’t let it put you away

Contents

* 1 History of PHP
* 2 Design
* 3 Criticism
* 4 Supported Platforms
* 5 Addiction Facts
* 6 Miscellaneous

History of PHP
“I coded PHP! Phear ME Mortal!”
“I coded PHP! Phear ME Mortal!”
PHP was invented by a two-bit hack named James Gosling a few days ago. He seems to think he’s a really great programmer, but we all know that he’s just in it to fire T-Shirts out of cannons. No one knows why he does this.

After his last T-Shirt flinging machine blew up, it was widely believed that Mr. Gosling lost his mind. At that point he began muttering to himself and banging on his keyboard like a chimp on Red Bull. After 10 minutes of this outrageous behavior, he emerged from his cubicle with the first prototype of PHP.

His boss thought he was a loon. And told him so. James merely responded that he was NOT a Loon, but a Gosling.

However, Sun Microsoftware recognized his genius and immediately hired him away from his existing position within minutes of his announcement. This was unprecidented in the history of computing, thus showing the importance of the PHP software to the history of the Universe.

With Sun Microsoftware’s help, the PHP of today (as opposed to yesterday) is a fully Orient Objected language suitable for cross flatworm use on a variety of scalable architectures. No one really knows what any of that means, but it sounds very good in the brochures.

James’ old boss still thinks he’s a loon.

Design
PHP is nothing more than a thin wrapper around the BASH scripting language. The code was then obfuscated six times, emailed to India, lost, found, lost again, emailed back to the US, failed to compile, then thrown away and reimplemented in COBOL. This design makes it extremely flexible, fast, and explains why Gosling was able to create the first prototype at all.

James’ old boss still thinks he’s a loon.

Criticism

ASP.Net is, by far, much better than PHP. PHP requires elementary reading skills, whereas web-applications running on ASP.Net can be built using a simple “point-and-sit” interface.

Critics argue that the simplicity yet sheer power of the scripting language suggests that it should have taken Gosling far less time to code. According to the world-renowned expert, Kreskin, it should have taken only 3.2 minutes, as he had foreseen—four and a half if he was slacking.

Proponents have responded that Kreskin simply doesn’t have a true grasp of how long it takes to replace a copyright statement.

James’ old boss still thinks he’s a loon.

Many critics note that PHP is too easy to read, an observation that sparked the creation of PerlHP by !WAHa.06×36.

Supported Platforms

One of the key features of PHP is that it can run anywhere its host web server can run. Here is an exhaustive list of supported platforms:

* James Gosling’s PC

Platforms where PHP does not run include (but are not limited to):

* Windows (1, 2, 3.0, 3.1x, 95, 98, NT 3.51, 2000, XP, 2003, Pretty Good Edition, etc..)
* Solaris
* HP/UX
* Mac OS X
* Linux (excluding kernel version 666)
* Irix
* Furbies
* Lions
* Tigers
* Bears
* OMG Ponies!
* Atari 2600
* Nintendo ‘Game and Watch’
* Amiga 400
* 800000086s
* 286s
* 386s
* 486s
* Pentagons
* Xenon Light Bulbs
* Gameboy
* ProDOS 8
* ProDOS 16
* FreeDOS
* NotSoFreeDos
* Mac OS 6.1
* Outluck
* Palm OS (1, 2, 3, 3.1, 4.x, 5.x)
* Tab Cola cans (from the 1980’s) (why oh why doesn’t it run on Tab Cola cans? Everything else does!)

Addiction Facts

Use of PHP can be dangerous. Early side effects include overuse of the $dollar $ign. PHP is a more popular, mainstream version of the even more powerful but deadly Perl, which gives users the same high in just 1 hit as PHP does in 5. PHP is often considered a gateway drug to more sophisticated and harmful substances like C, C++, and God forbid, Java. The best way to eradicate PHP use for good is to force the user to stop immediately and periodically administer C# doses to counter withdrawals (Basic will do too, if that’s all you have).

At any given time there will be at least 6 official releases of PHP with varying version numbers. Nobody knows which is which, what the differences are, and least of all which they should use. It’s a safe bet that the PHP core team doesn’t know either.

Miscellaneous

* PHP has received numerous awards for having the most security vulnerabilities in the shortest period of time. No doubt, this is why the government uses it.
* It is generally recommended that PHP be reserved for highly complex programs. Its complete lack of any sort of high level APIs makes it particularly well suited for maximum developer frustration.
* James’ old boss still thinks he’s a loon. Apparently, he still can’t tell the difference between a Loon and a Gosling!

I got my Hp Photosmart Scanner to work under linux. It was a piece of cake.

apt-get install xsane hylafax-client hpoj
I was then prompted to add devices to the hpoj system. It asked to scan for Parallel and USB connected devices and I said no to each. Then it prompted for an IP address and I gave it the one of my printer.

I put a notebook page with hand drawn notes in the scanner, fired up xsane and said aquire preview. It worked right off the bat. I fired up the gimp and used the file->aquire->x-sane>my device and said scan. It scanned the notebook page into a new GIMP image.

Yeah baby!!!

I am absolutely thrilled about this. This rocks!!!!!

Today I received the following e-mail:

How do you do?
My name is Dennis Bibbs. I just came about your email address and your brief profile through an email listing affiliated with the US Chamber of Commerce and I would be very interested in offering you a part-time paying job in which you could earn alot. Before I go further I thought I’d inform you of both who you would be working for and what you would be doing.
My name is Dennis Bibbs, 45 years of age, 3 kids, a lovely girl and 2 boys, and the love of my life, my wife. I am a somewhat multitalented man and I do quite a lot of traveling and get to meet quite a lot of people. I just resigned my job as a research scientist for ARINI(AgriculturalResearch Institute of Northern Ireland(www.arini.ac.uk)) but I still work as a freelance consultant for the instistute which gives me very much time to do my own work which is basically being a freelance researcher who could be employed by research institutes to do research projects anywhere in the world. I reside in Dublin, Ireland and even though I have lived most of my life in other parts of the world, I am fully residing in Ireland.
Presently, I have just been granted a funding to head a research project in the tropical regions of West Africa regarding rare and vulnerable plant species and this would be commencing very soon, However my funding were by my American counterparts which sent me the bunch of payments mostly in US based money orders. Getting an accountant in the states or opening an account would have been my best choice but I have a deadline to meet and taking any of those choices would cost me time and a whole lot of other requirements I am not ready to deal with as I would be traveling a lot in the meantime.
So presently, assuming you would be able to deal with cash, I would be willing to employ you on contract basis to be my payment representative back in the states, this way I could issue and make these money orders out to you, you could then cash them easily, withdraw 10% of the total amount on these money orders as your commission and then send the rest back to me through money gram money transfe. Bear it in mind that we would be dealing with quite a handful of cash and you could be making up to $3000 just working with me in a short period of time.
I would be glad if you accept my proposal and I intend to commence on starting as soon as you are ready. If you are interested, please email me back on dennisbibbs10@yahoo.co.uk so we could make concluding arrangements.
Thank You
Dennis Bibbs
TEL:+447024062371
Agricultural Research Institute of Northern Ireland
www.arini.ac.uk
Hillsborough, Ireland BT26 6DR

___________________________________________________________________________
Mail sent from WebMail service at PHP-Nuke Powered Site
- http://shogunalliance.com

Its a lot of talking in circles, but the bottom line is they want me to cash money orders take 10% as a service fee and send them the rest. I replied as follows:

Sounds fun. I would love to make some extra cash.

Lets see if they bite. If so I will keep you all posted. Lets see how far we can take this

I don’t want prescription drugs online. I have gotten about 100 spams in the past week and a half trying to sell me prescription drug service. All I can say is: I don’t want any. I happen to be quite healthy and don’t need prescription drugs or any other type of drugs.

Work was fun today for the first time in a while. Got new servers in (6 dell 6850’s). Ordered a ton of network gear friday and today. Along with EMC fibre cards and (so I hear anyway) a rack to put everything in. Found out the servers required 220 volt power. So have to order appropriate power supplies. Which delays server deployment. Which causes all types of problems with schedule slippage. And I am in the middle of it all. I love it!